Tuesday, March 17, 2009

A Fantasy League Draft Day Prayer

Let me remember that this is not a Bush League. It is a Riske venture which I must Winn.

Let me find the Wright player for a Lowe Price.

Let me seek Wise Counsell and not be taken in by any Lyon Messenger.

Give me no Meek players, but only Buehrle players of Braun.

Bring me Coffey so I may stay awake during the draft; it will not be enough to Sipp Cherry Coke.

Allow me to safely Wade the Waters and Span the Banks, over Hill and through Wood, along Rhodes that are Miles from my own Street.

Provide Sheets and Towles for my new charges, and Cotts to sleep on. If not, at least find us a Park where we can Camp.

Provide Geer that Shields my newest Knight from the Howell of the Wolf.

Spare me a Cook who Byrnes the Lamb to a Crisp. Give me a Bass and Byrd to Choo and Gobble.

Let my wife be patient as the night drags on, let her not Harang me, or be Wagner finger at me. Her patience will be rewarded. When I'm Dunn, if my team is Hardy, my Wang will Harden into a Bulger.

Let her not distract me with St. Patrick's Day talk of the Carpenter for whom the Church has many a Holliday--I only know of DeJesus today.

Let me not pay a Penny of Ransom for my team, and may they give me a Weeks' Werth of production before they Dye Young.

Finally, do not let the other managers Mock me, or see my first draft choice and Seay "Hu?"

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